Happy Mother's Day

I come at this Mother's Day a little more introspective than usual due to the rather sudden loss of a good friend who treated Michael and me as her own kids.

I've been lucky not only to have a mom that I get along with and admire, but to still have her around. I know many people who have lost their moms early in life or just don't have a good relationship with them, and I can't imagine where I'd be today without mine. We've traveled to many places - from Morocco, to Mexico, to a 3-week stint in Europe, and all over the U.S. We've skied, sailed, and hiked together.

We've had our rough patches, but who wouldn't after 49 years?! My mom's been a steady force in my life, despite whatever I've thrown at her, and that dependability and reliability has allowed me to take chances I doubt I would have taken without knowing I had someone to fall back on if I messed up.

In a sense, we've grown up together. Throughout my life, people have overheard our telephone conversations and been shocked to find I was talking to my mom the whole time. She is my best friend.

I saw a card the other day that had what mom's say vs what they mean and laughed at this one:

Wow, that's great, Sweetie! --> I'm not paying attention, but you sounded excited so I went with it.

I've come up with a lot of crazy ideas in my lifetime (and doubt I'm done yet), and despite the fact that she was probably thinking the above (or even simply "Oh boy"), my mom has always had my back. Although she gives advice, she keeps whatever reservations she has about my antics to herself (or shares them over wine with others who shake their heads in understanding and sympathy), letting me at least try. She is always there if things don't go as planned - without judgment. What a gift. 

I am grateful for the fact that I have a number of strong women in my life, some of them younger than me - all inspire me. I love watching these women accomplish the things they do. Some are single, some have kids, some work, some don't. All are independent spirits with generous souls.

My friend Nancy was no different. Living in Colorado, she had a love affair with St. Kitts, visited often, and read whatever she could from people writing from the island. When she stumbled across my Island Babble blog, she read it from beginning to end and got in touch. If I missed a week, she'd be emailing to ask if I was okay. One day she showed up to my ramshackle office at the Shiggidy Shack beach bar to introduce herself, and to be honest, scared me. She knew everything about my life and was so excited to meet me, she cried. Not long after, Michael came to pick me up and take me home only to get smothered in a loving embrace from this complete stranger before I had a chance to introduce her. The look on his face was priceless. I have to admit, we wondered if we had a stalker on our hands; she was so exuberant!

I love these cards created by a cancer survivor.

Deciding she was harmless, we got together with her a few times while she was visiting and now had a face to put with the emails that came regularly. By the time Michael's and my stint on St. Kitts was over 4 years later, Nancy and her husband had moved to Arizona. Eventually we ended up back there too, and the friendship deepened. She missed her adult kids, so took it upon herself to lavish us with the home cooking, craft projects, and hugs she wasn't always able to share with them. Our families are far away too, so it was nice to have this surrogate parent.

My heart goes out to my late friend's children, who are spending their first Mother's Day without their mom. Whatever your age, a parents' death is painful.



Know that I love you Mom and appreciate your sacrifices, your patience, and your support. Also know that I've got your back too.